Occupy Wall Street
Occupy Wall Street (socialist filthy hippies) OWS was a filthy organization started sometimes in the 70s, it was disbanded by Richard Nixon when the police found their stash of marijuana. The movement re-emerged in 2011, Fox News states that the reason is that in their hearts they are filled with jealousy and they want to steal all of our money. Others say, they are just being lazy and they just dont want to work, so instead they are protesting that they want free money. OWS is also allied with the terrorist group known anonymous. Our only hope is that the OWS movement will die and Wall Street can go back to work, by not working but instead just making money magically appear. Damn these ungrateful hippies. They made me miss my football game, because of their protests. The 1%, the Real Americans Who is a 1% Who is Not a 1% Gallery of the 1% File:Building america 1%.jpg The 99%, or The Filthy Socialist Hippies ] You are a 99% if: Police Un-Brutality While it is true that OWS is protected under some silly rule about freedom of speech, these filthy hippies are infringing our freedom of speech, the freedom of corporations to use corporate money to make more money, and that's just not right. To stop these commies, Wall Street has called some favors to arrest these lazy hippies to force them to get a job. Once Wall Street reclaims their streets back, we can go back to the business of stealing from the unwashed masses, after all, they clearly have demonstrated they dont know how to use money. The liberal media has lambasted our brave men and women in blue, criticizing their excessive use of force. The media doesnt seem to understand that this unruly mob of peasants are a threat to America's safety. Silly media when you will ever learn? Apparently OWS has their own army of un-american hippies, and they have promised to kill us all if we dont give in to their demand. Some of these commie hippies could kill you in their sleep, trust us, the police knows what they are doing. The assured us that they are not using excessive force, instead they are using the correct force and just to be safe they will use photoshopping technology to give the appearance that their brutality is not that bad so is safe to be broadcasted, perfectly legal, of course. The war against these anarcho-hippies is proving to be difficult, as the police keeps arresting and beating un-american traitors, socialist grannies, and pregnant commies, five more take their place. Even with Wall Street's help to mow down the crowd and Homeland Security's illegal activity to infiltrate this group, they are still growing. We still do not understand why their numbers keep growing, it is a mystery. Some godless commie hippies are even helping these socialist thieves. They are given food, shelter, and protection. It is clear the movement has numerous sleeper cells around the country. Clearly, this demonstrates a failure on the part of the Obama administration and he must resign; otherwise, the Real Socialists could take over the government. Otherwise how are we going to protect America against her enemies? Update: It has come to our attention that the hippies are trying to infiltrate the police force. They are pretending to be law abiding officers, but instead they are sleeper agents waiting to take over. Terrifying stuff. The Counter OWS: Occupy Main Street Wall Street, tired of waiting for the donut-eating pigs from doing their work correctly, decided that they should use the power of the free market to correct this abomination. No matter the cost, the 1% must fight to stop this rabble, and when I say fight I mean they will hire someone else to clean this up. First, Wall Street tried to provide these lazy hippies with good paying jubs, but the unwashed massed refused. Clearly their protest that they cannot get jubs is a lie, they just dont want to work. Their excuse is that since they have so much college debt, they want jubs with bigger salaries to they can pay it off. Silly commies, that is the purpose of debt, the more debt you have the richer the market gets and the more money America can produce. Clearly OWS does not understand the basics of economics. Wall Street frustrated that these hippies could not understand the suffering of the rich, I thought hippies believed in compassion and stuff. Since the lazy hippies are clearly unqualified to have jubs, Wall Street had devised a plan to take over and steal their jubs. Doing their menial labor would be so easy, that anyone can do it. It's so easy, that instead we would be asking the help to do it for us. After all, Wall Street doesnt like to dirty their own hands, that just silly. Once Wall Street restores the power of capitalism, we can go back to the business of making America great again. But first, we must make sure that these filthy commies suffer for wasting our time and money.